Guyana Guardian

Child mother wants to stop child father’s wedding

weddingbreak

 

Dear Pastor,

I was in a relationship with my child father since I was 19, and had bore him a child who is now nine years old.
About a year ago we had some minor problems and I threw him out of our rented apartment, and subsequently told him that our relationship was over and I only wanted him to take care of his child.
At the time I did not meant what I had said and was only trying to hurt him, which also led me to start to openly seeing someone else. However myself and the person had never slept and I eased them off after about three months.

I was just dating the person the hope that my child father would have gotten jealous and come back to me so that we can work things out. But unfortunately, he never did.

It has been almost 12 months and two weeks now since myself and my child father has been separated, and I have been asking him to return home ever since.

However, just when I thought that we will be able to work something out, I received the dreaded news that he is getting married to a girl from abroad in December.
As a matter of fact, I was able to see the invitation from one of his relatives, and am very much devastated by this entire thing.

The worst part is that I am sure that my child father is being forced into this marriage, or was duped into marrying this bride in waiting.

Therefore, I have decided that in the interest of our child and even for his own good that I should stop this wedding from taking place.
People have told me about different options that I can take to stop this evil marriage from occurring and how to get my child father to come to his senses.

But on second thought I decided to ask for your advice on what I can do to bring an end to this upcoming marriage nightmare.

C.S

__________________________________________
Dear CS,

Your entire story sounds very confusing, and you seemed to have avoided any effort to state all of the facts in order for me to properly assess this matter.
First of all, I am not sure that a minor problem could have caused a woman to throw her partner out of the home. But that would depend on what “minor” actually meant for you.
Added to that you did not give any clear indication as to what the problem was; since it can range from infidelity to a physical clash, among other things.

No clear story is on the table to even decide who might be at fault or who may have been the primary contributor to the issue.

You also added that you were seeing someone else in order to make him jealous. But even if that was true, I have never heard of a case where a woman will date a man for three months just to make her partner jealous. Because a one-time one minute flirt is often enough.
But in your case, if that did not work in an entire month, I am not sure how it would have worked in the second and the third months.

What is also interesting, is your statement that you and your child father was “separated” for nine months.
I would assume that he was probably taking care of the child during that time, and you were probably in constant communication with him. Nonetheless, it all seemed clear that you and him was no longer in a relationship, and was no longer romantically accountable to each other.

Furthermore, it might be fair to assume that you did not had any direct interest in your child father until you learnt that he is about to get married.

And if I should stick along that line, the only reason you are making an issue of it now is simply because you are probably too humiliated to accept the fact that he has found someone else and is elegantly moving on. Moreover, he was not married to you, and was now extending that privilege to someone else; – a reality that lots of women often cannot face.

If I am correct, then the given story that you want to stop the marriage for your child and the man’s benefit would be nothing more than a trash-bin fable that is intended to be a precursor to making the man’s life and his marriage miserable.

In light of this, I am of the view that your issue is purely emotional to the stage where adequate counseling is needed, since it can help you to overcome your emotional grief and non-acceptance of what is actually unfolding before you.

But in the short sense of it, I think you would only be humiliating yourself to make unnecessary attempts to stop his impending marriage to his new found love.

I will implore you not to go trying to ruin other people’s happiness simply because you cannot find your own.

At this time you need to strengthen your spirit and avoid creating an embarrassing situation mostly for yourself.

Do the right thing by finding yourself in a church, pray hard, and seek the spiritual support of the church membership to pull you through this difficult time. You will overcome.
Pastor

Have a problem and need working answers, then send an email with all of the particulars to: dearpastor@guyanaguardian.com

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