(Opinion) – Many times we would notice couples whose relationship seems like a perfect match, because of the affection and fairy-tale signs that are either publicly or inadvertently displayed by the couple.
Moreover, if the relationship is one that has been in existence for a number of years with very little or no publicly known issues, we are often forced to accept that the relationship is definitely an ideal one.
But like every other relationship, the obligations that a man is required to render to that union, and the womanly input that is expected to be made by the female partner, are still the one set of things that are often more noticeable to the observing eye.
And for whatever reason, the health and quality of a relationship is often measured by the performances and integrity of the female partner, and not necessarily the male. Hence, even if a man cheats, acts like a drunkard, or may have some ethical baggage around his neck, the credibility of the female partner is often the main element that determines the reputation of that relationship.
As such, the public generally align their focus more on the female partner in a relationship, while minimizing their interest in the conduct of the man
So no matter how hard the man may be working or how dedicated he may be to his wife, it is an obligation that society sees no reason to praise or commend him for.
Nonetheless, this prejudicial sideline of the male gender dictates that a man must always be thankful for having a supposedly good woman, while very little consideration is made for a good man.
Society always seems to selectively notice when a woman washes her partner’s clothes, iron them, cook for him, keep the home tidy, and is an equally hardworking contributor to the relationship finances.
For many observers, these very traits that some women displays are adequate enough to classify them as good women.
On the other hand, women tend to self-praise their persona and class themselves as a good woman while projecting that belief to observers or anyone who may be paying some attention to the good way in which they are supposedly treating their partner.
For them, once there is no cheating, or no default on their obligations to their partner, that is more than enough to say that he has a good woman.
But in reality, the definition of a ‘good woman’ is an ever-changing one for most men, especially if he is still trying to search himself.
As a result, women who consider themselves as the good ones, often cannot come to grips when a man that they are loyal to, simply walk out of their life, and end up with a woman that she might consider as a ‘no good’.
The shock, humiliation and hurt that follows, usually left them searching for answers, which in most cases are never found.
But if you are to ask me, I can safely say that most men would usually leave “good women” for either of the following reasons; –
1 – You are no longer the best choice –
Men are known to make random and unexplained decisions, only to reverse it whiteout any plausible explanations thereafter.
For example, women would walk through the city for hours, and visit almost every boutique over ten square miles in order to decide on which dress to buy for them to wear to a function.
This is generally because most women tend to peek into their future on how they want to look, and what outfit they must wear in order to look great.
But a man lives for the moment, and would prefer to walk into the first store he meets down the street and buy the first shirt that seems ok to wear with his suit for a function next month. And before you know it, his shopping is done for the day.
As such, he would see no need to be walking from store to store over several hours. For him, he will be perfectly happy with whatever is available to wear in the first boutique, because it seems ok to him at that time.
But a week later, his friend told him about a better shirt, or he happens to pass by another store and see a shirt that appears to be more ideal for his suit than the first. He will then fall in love with that shirt, buys it and take it home to wear with the suit, without considering the other shirt that he had bought before.
This is usually because men often do not process things or review things the way women do.
But women, on the other hand, will take an entire day to agree on the right shoe or the right dress to wear for a function, simply because women are not good at handling regrets.
Now, if you look at the comparison above and agrees with me, then it is not so hard to understand that a man can meet a girl today, got the feeling that she is the love of his life, and marry tomorrow without actually processing whether he had actually wanted to spend the rest of his natural life with her.
So, two years later, when a seemingly better-suited girl comes along and he considers her a better fit for his suit, it is often not so difficult for him to forget about the first. In such a case, while you had been a good choice back then, you are simply no longer his good choice, at this time.
For many psychologists and relationship counsellors, this sort of behaviour appears to be a natural element in most men, and remains one of the most mysterious behavioural traits that they are still trying to understand.
And if these relationship experts are still struggling to understand this behavioural issue, it will certainly be unwise for you to waste your time digging for answers on why your ex would have wanted to part with a ‘good woman’ like you.
The only thing that you can do in such a case, is to wake up to the message and simply move on; – with the hope that you do not go through the same experience again.
2 – He now realizes you are not really his type –
A girl might be the seemingly perfect church lady that a man might be after, or the trendsetter chic that he has many eyes roving for her on social media, and thought that she is the one he wants.
But men are often emotionally confused, and generally cannot separate their temporary emotions from the reality of an encounter when it comes to what they really want with a woman.
In the end, when he actually realize that a girl singing glory glory each morning does not fit in with his desire for a freaky sex doll, or the social media craze chic is the nagging, lazy, babbling type that does not fit in with his preference for a quiet well-mannered woman, he would leave in either case, without one ounce of notice.
So though he might tell you that you are the ideal type of woman for him when you first met, the general shortsightedness of men stepped in to reveal that he actually needs a different type of woman.
In other words, you may no longer be his type.
And just in case you didn’t know it; – men can take months or even years to realize that they actually did not need a chicken burger with chicken in it.
3 – You were trying to change him
A woman might come from a family that instil certain moral traits that can conflict with the general conduct or social trends of her partner.
For example, her partner might be the kind of guy who enjoys going out to sip beers with his friends every weekend, and probably find it to be a comforting way to end the week.
But in many instances, women tend to assert their relationship authority or their disdain for an addicting habit that they partner has, by demanding that the man bring an end to the weekend beer lime or whatever else she may despise.
The problem here though, is that if you find yourself in a relationship with a man that has been drinking every weekend for ten years before he met you, the truth is that he will not be so easily inclined to abruptly change ten years of a social addiction to simply suit his partner. And these can either lead to relationship conflicts or cause him to see his partner as an impediment and tormentor to his social happiness.
In most cases, once a man thinks that you are forcing him to make adjustments to suit you, most are often willing to do the walking out for you.
After all, it is always a risk to force change on a man while placing him under duress.
4 – There are actually some bad things about you
Women often convince themselves that they are so perfect that there is not a single fault that their partner can place upon them.
But believe me, supposedly good women have some really nasty habits too. And while they may not cheat or be the kind that might entertain the idea, there are other things that would burn a man up enough to force him out of a relationship with even the most adorable woman on earth.
So you may be a “good woman”, but you are not all good if you have a self-encouraged long-term hygiene problem between your legs, is cooking hard rice daily, is gossiping on the phone all day, is living on Facebook, and is spending 80% of the man’s salary on Chinese fried rice and brand name clothes, or is spreading his private business in the wind.
Otherwise, you can be assured that as stupid as that may sound, lots of men have left supposedly good women for those very reasons, and I am sure that more will continue to leave others for the same reasons.
So no matter how good you think you are, a single imperfection is all a man would need sometimes, to let you go.